Twelve hour study marathons have become my new normal. I started out only being able to study productively for a couple of hours, and then my eyes would get droopy and my brain would feel foggy…. but now, I’ll only realize how long its been when I get hungry or life stuff happens to pull me away from the q-bank review or stack of flashcards.
Its so funny to me how nervous I get, how hesitant I am at trusting my recall. I know some of you will just roll your eyes at this, but I’m not really talking about thinking I’m not smart enough for my grand educational venture. What I’m talking about is a CONFIDENCE factor. And how blown away I am to see evidence that I know what I know.
Case in point: Just got second mid-term grade report, and nearly cried seeing the high pass score.
I had a flashback to that first year when I returned to undergrad in my mid-40s, determined to see if my brain could handle a pre-med curriculum without any foundation whatsoever. And how I’d study for hours and hours trying to get to the point of answering every question correctly on General Biology tests.
This time, I only missed two questions.
In just two more weeks, I’ll sit for the final. It will be a test of my courage, as well as a test to see if I can adequately recall all those little details of Biochemistry. I’m nervous already! But I’ll say this: it helps tremendously to have my little pile of stones, the growing mountain of evidence that says YOU CAN DO THIS.
You know what’s funny? This isn’t “hard”. At least not in the way I thought it would be. Its simply a whole lot of information. And, I can do this!